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Golf Quotes Jokes and Owne Liners

"When I'm  on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning,
I hold up my one iron, 'caus I know even God can't hit a one iron."
  -Lee Trevino

"A professional will tell you the amount of flex you need in the shaft of your club. The more the flex, the more strength you will need to break the thing over your knees."   -Stephen Baker

"Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest
to cheat at."  -Dave  Hill

"Golf isn't like other sports where you can take a player out if he's having a bad day.  You have to play the whole game." 
-Phil Blackmar

"Why am I using a new putter?  Because the last one
didn't float too well."  -Craig Stadler

"For some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability
to add correctly."  -Jerry Shapiro

"I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: 
it's called an eraser."  -Arnold Palmer

"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head
down is so you can't see him laughing." -Phyllis Diller